Amanda is a 19-year-old looking forward to her first year away from home at college. She recently settled into her dorm room and has gotten her first week of classes out of the way. Making new friends is still a work in progress, but it is nothing she did not expect. A new city, school, and meeting new people will take time. The guy in Amanda's math class seems nice enough; he tells her good morning, picks up her pen when she drops it, and appears to enjoy making eye contact with her during class. Going into her second week of classes, this guy finally starts conversing with her; he asks her name and introduces himself as Jared. As they made small talk, Jared asked Amanda if she wanted to hang out on Friday night and stated that his fraternity was hosting a party. He assured her it would be very chill and nothing too crazy. Amanda was trying to broaden her horizons, and despite knowing she had never been fond of parties, she decided to try it and told him yes.
Friday arrives, and Amanda feels confident in her outfit, hair, and makeup and heads over to Jared's fraternity house. He spots her walk in, and they decide to grab a drink and find somewhere quiet to talk alone. Amanda seemed to like him, as they talked for hours! When she realized it was getting late and she had had a few drinks, Amanda decided to walk back to her dorm. Jared was genuinely sweet and insisted on walking her back so she would not roam campus alone at night.
When they arrived at Amanda's dorm room, they realized that none of her roommates were there, so Amanda invited Jared in for a few minutes. Jared decides to make the first move and kisses Amanda. Amanda was starting to like Jared, so she went with it. Things started getting increasingly heated, and Amanda tried to pump the breaks. In between making out, she tried to explain that they should slow down, that they did not know each other yet, and that she needed to sleep. Jared showed no interest in slowing down or stopping. Amanda continued to ask Jared to slow down, and he continued to say things to her like, "It's ok, just go with it," and "I like you, don't you like me?" Amanda realized he was much stronger than she was, and as he began to rip her clothes off, she asked him to stop, but he wasn't listening.
When he finished, Jared kissed Amanda on her forehead and left. Once he was gone, Amanda lay there in shock as she cried herself to sleep. She replayed the whole night in her head all weekend, questioned if she did something to cause what happened, and wondered what she should have done differently. Amanda felt embarrassed, ashamed, and broken. She didn't know who to talk to or when; she wanted to forget it ever happened to her.
However, Amanda had trouble focusing in class on Monday, especially when she saw Jared in class, and he acted like everything was fine. Amanda decided to speak to a school counselor about what happened. The counselor reassured Amanda that she did nothing wrong. The counselor also asked Amanda if she wanted to report the assault. At first, Amanda said no; she wanted to forget. But, the more she talked with the counselor, the more she realized that if this happened to her, how often might this happen to others? As Amanda changed her mind, the counselor helped her call the university police to report the incident. Per protocol, Amanda had to go to the university ED for a sexual assault examination. The counselor instructed Amanda to take her clothes with her from Friday night in case they could be used.
Since Amanda had no traumatic injuries or other medical problems, she was medically cleared and sent to a private exam room while waiting for a nurse. The nurse finally arrived, as did a victim's advocate, and they said so many things that Amanda felt like her head would explode.
Amanda went through the Friday night events the best she could while answering all the nurse's questions. The nurse asked her if she had showered, cleaned up, brushed her teeth, etc., since the incident, and Amanda told her she had. Amanda worried she had done something wrong or was too late to seek help. She did remember to bring her clothes that she hadn't yet washed, so she provided them to the nurse to collect in a brown paper bag.
As she went through the motions of answering the questions, allowing the nurse to perform a vaginal exam, and using swabs everywhere (so it felt like), Amanda couldn't help but get emotional, wondering how she let herself get there. The victim's advocate helped calm Amanda down and talked with her about resources, talking to a professional, and many other things as the nurse finished her examination. Upon discussing whether Amanda wished to report her assault to local law enforcement, Amanda asked the nurse what she should do. The nurse explained to Amanda her options and decided to pursue reporting the incident.